did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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