"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
