he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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