please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
