Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
