If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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