guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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