I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
