i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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