Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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