hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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