You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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