Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
