When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
