To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
