Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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