I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
