Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im holly from the hills drunk
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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