Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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