Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
