My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
