giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
