my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you.
Bad choice
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
