I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
