I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
