so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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