he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
