Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
