fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
