Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
