Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You smell like stripper and shame
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
NoShamevember. You game?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
