I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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