yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
