please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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