ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize