u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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