the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
