It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
