Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
