Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
