dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
