Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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