I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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