Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
