I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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