i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
