hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
