I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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