I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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