I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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