im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
