i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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