I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
