Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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