Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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