susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
