and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
