Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
