what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
