omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Green mimosas i think yes
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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