dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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