Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
