I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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