i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
