I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
