oh god the rape fog is back!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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