I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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