I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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