it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
